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Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey

Easy to loveLet’s be honest here. Every child goes through a stage (or five) where they are easy to love, but difficult to discipline. Every parent gets tired and stressed and just wants the kids to cooperate. Here are some strategies for how to make that happen.

As much as I would love to say that it offers some magic words that will turn a tantruming three year old into an angel, it doesn’t work quite that easily. First the parents have to stop having tantrums. Most adults don’t think they have tantrums, but they do. It just looks different. Instead of screaming, they say, “Right now, Mister! I mean it!” Instead of kicking their feet, they point and shake their fingers. If parents can’t handle their anger and stress without a tantrum, how do they expect to teach their child to do it?

Bailey offers insight into what skills you need to help yourself and then to help your child. You can’t teach skills you don’t have, and you won’t get cooperation if you don’t offer it to the child first. I’m starting to use the ideas and skills with my family, and I am already seeing some positive changes. Yes, I had to carry my three year old out of the library tonight hanging upside down, but that was better than carrying him out kicking and screaming. I offered him several silly options for leaving the library (hopping? waddling? upside down?), and that little bit of control got him to cooperate.

I’m hoping that as I practice the skills I will become a better parent to my children. That is my real goal, after all – not to leave the library at the exact minute I planned, but to have a better relationship with my children.

reviewed by Jessica

 

Posted in: Children's Dept, For Kids, Parents

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  1. Jennifer March 25, 2013

    I love her books! We just got a new one at the library called Managing Mayhem. I also found this helpful page from the conscious discipline website that gives several “calming techniques” that adults can teach kids, and visual aids so kids can choose which one they want to use when they feel out of control. They are all about deep breathing, a great technique to learn for life. http://consciousdiscipline.com/resources/safe_place_breathing_icons.asp

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